CLEANING THE DISGUSTING AUGEAN STABLES !!!!!

Well my friends fearing my physical strength and power that fool Eurystheus has sent me to complete menial labour by cleaning out the king Augeas' stables.

However for such a heinous and disgusting task I made a deal with king Augeas , in which he'd give me a tenth of his cattle if I cleaned the stables in one day. I ultimately invited Augeas' son to watch a true hero complete a task , so he may inspire one day to become a warrior like me.

The task itself was quite simple. I tore open two large holes at both ends of the stables , and via digging trenches near two rivers it allowed the water to wash away all the filth and mess within these stables.

HOW DARE THAT FOOL AUGEAS BETRAY ME !!!!!. HE HAS FAILED TO LIVE UP TO HIS END OF THE BARGAIN AND BANISHED ME FROM THE KINGDOM !!!! BUT DON'T YOU WORRY ONCE I ACHIEVE IMMORTALITY THAT FOOL AND ALL THE OTHERS INCLUDING EURYSTHEUS WILL PAY FOR THAT HAVE DONE !!!!!!!

THE BIRDS OF STYMPHALIAN !!!!

I must admit my friends I was getting excited as the challenges were becoming even more and more challenging !!!

The thought of taking on the creatures with ariel superiority drove my instinct to challenge myself and become better as a warrior. Anyway our good old friend Eurystheus ordered me to kill these brirds which lived in the forest on the shores of Lake Stymphalus. HOW DARE THAT FOOL TELL ME WHAT TO DO !!!!

 However I must concentrate on the task at hand , that fool's time will come I assure you. I must admit drawing these birds out of the forest proved quite challenging , until the goddess Athena came to my aid and provided me with a bronze castanet. This proved to be of great use as the birds were clearly fearful of the noise and as they drew out of the forest. I shot each and everyone one of them down with my perfect archery skills.

Once again another task was effectively completed and my triumphs continued. I thank you for your on going support my friends

Hmm.... I wonder who this particularly attractive fellow is and look at his skill with a bow and arrows ??

THE HIND OF CERYNEIA !!!!

Well my friends the next task included capturing some sort of a female deer or hind.... call it what you want?
However I must admit this was quite a delicate task for a key reason. Such a hind was sacred to the goddess Artemis and believe me none of you would want to get in her bad books......... She is an absolute PSYCHO!!!!

Anyway I faced difficulty as I was forbid from neither killing , nor even touching the hind. So I had to be smart and think strategically. Hence forgive me for not blogging for a year as this was the time it took me to hunt the hind. Eventually the hind grew tired and I regrettably wounded it with one of my arrows. Man I knew Artemis was going to be really annoyed at what I did , so I just took it like the warrior I am, all the rage that was coming towards me.

Luckily enough I was able to explain to the animated Artemis that I was forced to complete the task , and it was all Eurystheus fault. She then healed the hind and let me take it back.

A good years work I'd say , but more importantly I was closer to my goal.

I must admit I was quite brutal and harsh , but hey life's not fair. Believe me I know !!!!

THE BLOODY PIG !!!

Well my friends Eurystheus keeps sending me on the most idiotic tasks I've ever had to complete in my life. I was  instructed to bring back the Erymanthian boar alive , a pig can you believe it a PIG !!!!!!!.

My frustration levels were going through the roof , however I must keep a steady mind to the ultimate glory that lies ahead. Anyway whilst I was one my way to complete this ever so difficult task..... (great sarcasm mind you) I decided to pay a visit to my friend Pholus the centaur , however my indulgence for his wine stirred up some trouble with others , so...... I decided to quickly complete my task.

It was quite simple to find the beast and I was able to lure it out to the snow. It ran until it collapsed allowing me to seize the moment and capture the beast without a sweat.... damn i'm good !!!!

However the reaction of Eurystheus was priceless , hahaha. Once he saw me return with the pig he was gripped with terror and hid himself in a large jar. So he should be , no one , I mean no one !!!! dares to challenge me and my power.

Anyway that's enough ranting for today , I'll report back on my next conquest to you later on. Cya then my friends

Someone give me a real challenge !!!!!

THE PATHETIC LERNEAN HYDRA

Well my friends welcome to level two......

Once again my confidence was at an all time high after disposing quite comfortably of that ridiculous lion . Now some sea monster stood between me and my journey to immortality. However due to the relative size of the beast and mainly my selflessness to share my glory with others I requested my nephew the great Iolaus to assist me in my battle.

We would ultimately need to work together in order to defeat this multiple headed best. Once we arrived to Lerna I was able to draw this beast out by shooting my flamed arrows towards it. However I must admit that this creature did trouble us for a second.... but only for no more than one second , as we realized that each time I'd destroy one of its heads, multiples would take its place. However the intellect of my nephew Iolaus proved to be of great value as he was able to torch the tendons in the neck of the beast and ultimately restrict its ability to grow back its head.

It took us then no more than 5 minutes to completely destroy the beast and i benefited greatly from its bloody corpse by equipping my arrows with some much needed poison.

Overall it was a great conquest and I must thank my Iolaus for his loyalty. I'll recommend him to anyway one you mortals as his services will be of great assistance should you take a similar adventure of your own. Anyway another simple task completed and I'm one step closer to proving that fool Eurystheus he messed with the wrong hero.                                                                                                                                                        

Me and Iolaus in High Definiton action !!!!... oh yeaaaa

FASHION STATEMENT !!!

 What do you all think of my new suit ???

I reckon it's going to be a trendy development in the future. The ladies will be lining up my friends if you know what I mean....

I RULE OVER THE NEMEAN LION !!!

Well that arrogant fool Eursytheus ordered me to bring back the skin of a supposed lion which was terrorizing the hills around Nemea. On my way to Nemea I came across a very nice man Molorchus who provided me with hospitality. However despite Molorchus's hospitality and warmth I could sense the sadness inside him as his son had been killed by the beast terrorizing Nemea. Ultimately I made a deal with Molorchus that If I did return in 30 days he'd sacrifice his ram , his only possession to Zeus , however If I didn't make it back from my conquest the ram would be sacrificed to me as a hero.

Anyway enough of this background , now the exciting part begins. Well I arrived at the lion's cave with my confidence shining through. This shouldn't take me more than 5 minutes , however the task proved slightly difficult than first thought. My arrows failed to have any impact upon the lion at first , due to my poor judgement. So I had no choice but to physically attack it and though my brute strength I chocked it to death. Damn i'm good......

Man you should have seen the face of Eursytheus.... He was instilled with fear. How dare that fool even question any of my abilities.

Here is my battle with the Nemean Lion for those who like visual action:

TODAY'S THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT !!!!

Well today's the day.....

My day of judgement , the atonement of my sins nears. Just a few hours ago I met with the one they call Eurystheus of Argos. I didn't seem to have much fondness of him , but that's not important. I have been allocated twelve tasks or laborers to complete in exchange for immortality which I must say sounds very enticing, ha ha ha. Well I'll report back soon after I have completed my first task. As skilled as I am these tasks should be a breeze , I mean come on.... I killed a snake as a baby , which says a lot one would agree.

Anyway cheerio until then my friends

WHAT HAVE I DONE !!

Hera the fool !!!

She has destroyed me. Hera's actions have delivered me into this delirium and rage and it is through that I've murdered my entire family. My beautiful wife Megara , my children all gone because of my uncontrollable rage...


I didn't know what to do with my life , it's as if it was at the crossroads. I had lost all purpose to remain alive. However my praise must be given to my great friend Theseus who broke me out of my depressive state. He gave me  hope...... hope towards salvation.

In a weeks time I must meet my fate , the challenges and ultimate punishment I must face for my unforgivable sins. I've been instructed to travel to Delphi where I'll meet the one named Eurystheus of Argo. It is here that It's been rumoured I must face the most grueling and intimidating of challenges. Well until then my friends.....