THE FINAL BLOG

Well my friends this is it.... All my hard work has been completed and in a matter of days I shall become immortal and live upon the Gods.

I would like to thank you all for your support along my journey which I must admit has been a challenging and fun one.

Until then I hope to be blogging from Mount Olympus as a God.

So for the final time ' The Triumphant Herakles' signing out and I would like you all to remember me as so:

THE FINAL TASK: HESPERIDES APPLES

Well my friends this was it..... All my hard work and effort brought me to the final obstacle, the obstacle that stood between me and redemption , the gift of immortality to become a GOD !!!!

I knew these apples belonged to Hera and boy wouldn't it just rub salt into the wound if not only I stole her apples , but ultimately succeeded in completing the seemingly impossible '12 Labours' at Hera's disgust.

The journey itself was quite a tiring and slightly difficult one in which I was unsure of the exact location of where the apples were hidden. Whilst on my journey the usual weak mortals attempted to challenge me such as that Kyknos and Antaeus however as usual I disposed of anyone who got in my way.

I soon figured out that the sea god Nereus was the one who knew of the location I desired and whilst he was initially hesitant to give it up , anyone who challenges me is going to succumb to my almighty strength. My journey then took an unexpected twist when I found a bound up Prometheus , with his liver being constantly eaten by an eagle. I managed to kill the eagle and in return I was informed by Prometheus that only Atlas , the one who holds up the sky could obtain the apples.

Reluctantly I made a deal with Atlas that I would hold up the sky in his place , whilst he collected the Apples for me. I however knew that fiend was up to something and a simple trade would not be on the cards.........

Then when Atlas returned his attempt to deceive me failed badly. He told me that he would return the apples to Eurystheus , however I knew that was an indication that he would not be returning , so as the perfect person I am , I tricked that fool into holding up the sky for a moment whilst I adjusted the padding on my shoulders. Then whilst he placed them upon the floor I snatched them away and took off. HAHAHA !!! TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME YOU FOOL !!!!!

IN THE END I NEEDED TO RETURN THE APPLES TO ATHENA AS THEY BELONGED TO THE GODS !!!!! THAT FOOL EURYSTHEUS WASTED MY TIME AGAIN !!!!!

Anyway my friends I had done it. The labours were complete and I was the best. MY REWARD AWAITED ME !!!!

THE GREAT HERAKLES CAN NEVER BE FOOLED !!!!

RETRIEVING CERBERUS FROM HELL

A trip to see Hades aye ??? . I must admit this was going to one of the more difficult tasks I've had to complete in my lifetime.  The prospect of never returning from the underworld as a mortal created slight fear within me , something I had never experienced , however I needed to find the courage to complete such a task.

Whilst it is difficult for me to admit , without the help of Hermes and the goddess Athena I would have never succeeded in this task. Firstly I became initiated into the ' Mysteries of Eleusis' which ultimately gave me a guide on how to safely cross to the other world. Whilst on my journey I came across many helpless souls , with that of Meleager particularly touching. His death inspired me ,that I promised to marry his sister Deianeira if I returned back to the land of the living.

After a long journey I finally reached Pluto , the master of Cereberus. He promised that I could take the creature if I overpowered it with my bare hands. Whilst this may have seemed impossible , the strength of the great Herakles was not to be taken for granted . I must admit it was a tough battle with the beast's tongue stinging me numerous amount of times , however I eventually overcame it. I HAD WON , I HAD WON !!!!.

I was overjoyed and via the entrance at Troezen I was able to return back to earth. That fool Eurystheus never dared to confront me for he had known that mission impossible became possible HAHAH

NOTHING IS TOO DIFFICULT FOR THE GREAT HERAKLES

TRAVELLING TO THE END OF THE WORLD TO OBTAIN THE CATTLE OF GERYON

I have to admit my friends this was one of my more exciting tasks I had to complete. The difficulty I must admit lay on my return with the herd as opposed to capturing. A lot dared to strip me of my prize I had rightfully earned , HOW DARE THEY !!!!

Firstly I must give my thanks to Helios who lent me his vessel the 'Cup of the Sun' to assist me in my journey. I however thought to myself in order for people to worship me and remember me I need to commemorate my journey , something I had failed to do in my previous nine tasks. So i decided to create two large mountains , meaning I split one large one into two. HOW ABOUT THAT STRENGTH MY FRIENDS HAHAHA !!!!

Anyway enough theatrics , once I reached the island of Erythia I easily disposed of both the two headed dog Orthrus and Eurytion with single blow of my club. Then that fool Geryon attempted to challenge me for his cattle , but my arrows soon dealt with him with ease.

A few hooligans decided to test my patience and attempt to thwart my return back to Greece. Particularly the two sons of Poseidon who I disposed of pretty comfortably after they attempted to steal the cattle. However the a slight hiccup occurred when one of the bulls escaped and swam its way to the ruler Eryx. After I managed to find its location , Eryx like most kings was quite stubborn and arrogant. He decided to challenge me , I MEAN CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ??? HAVEN'T PEOPLE LEARNED OF MY STRENGTH AND POWER ?????

Anyway as usual I was able to dispose of this fool and collect the lone bull. Just when you though it could not get any worse it did...... that psycho Hera decided to send a gadfly to attack me and as a result it caused the cattle of herd to disperse. MAN WAS I FURIOUS !!!!! . I was finally able to collect the rest of the cattle eventually , but this time wasting was really DRIVING ME MAD !!!!.

Well my friends only two tasks remain , until I achieve what mere mortals dream of , immortality !!!! , oh yea !

                                                                                                           

My beautiful architecture skills on show for everyone !!!! (aka: The Pillars of Herakles)

MY CONQUEST FOR THE GIRDLE OF QUEEN HIPPOLYTA!!!

Again for his selfish desires that fool Eurystheus wanted to obtain the Girdle of Queen Hippolyta in order to present it to his daughter as a gift.

Whilst I have always expressed my disgust over Eurystheus ordering someone of my status around I've decided to just accept it as it won't be long until I rule over the mortals and obtain immortality.

I have to admit this was going to be a challenging task and it proved to be so which was to my liking. To finally have a challenge ultimately tested my skills as a warrior and I relished at the opportunity. I knew the Amazon army led by Queen Hippolyta were going to be difficult to overcome myself , so my fellow friends joined me for this quest.

HOWEVER ONCE AGAIN IT WAS HERA WHO CAUSED MY PEACEFUL DISCUSSION WITH HIPPOLYTA TO ERUPT INTO WAR !!!! THAT WOMEN DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!!

SHE BRAINWASHED THE ARMY INTO BELIEVING WE WERE HERE TO KIDNAP THE QUEEN!!!

Regrettably I had no choice to but to kill Queen Hippolyta , obtain the Girdle and me and my friends were able to escape to deliver the belt to Eurystheus.

DIOMEDES'S MARES !!!!

I must admit my friends this task required quite a collective effort to capture the man eating mares of Diomedes.

I must admit those who assisted me in the battle were extremely brave and they all have my utmost respect. Myself and a group of volunteers traveled from Aegean to Bistonia to capture these mares and we had just about completed the task , before a group of Bistone soldiers confronted us to recapture the mares.

However it was with great sadness I report the sacrifice of young Abderos whose bravery allowed me to defeat the Bistone soldiers. He unfortunately could not overpower the mares , however his sacrifice didn't go in vain. He allowed me to easily capture the mares since the soldiers were now either dead or had fled and in return i found the city of Abedera in his honour. Hence know one would ever forget his bravery as this proved pivotal in allowing me to step closer to achieving my ultimate goal of immortality.  

RIP ABDEROS

THE WEAK CRETAN BULL !!!!!!

Well my friends another useless task and another weak challenge.
I mean COME ON !!!!  Eurystheus must have been quite stupid if he thought anyone of these tasks allocated to me were actually going to be challenging and I would ultimately be defeated ????. Everyone knows i am gifted and can never lose a challenge.

Anyway back to the details my task was to bring the Cretan bull back to Eurystheus alive. Whilst King Minos wouldn't help me with the task It took me no more than a mere 5 minutes to easily wrestle the creature to the floor and deliver iT to Eurystheus.

IT DOES NOT GET ANY EASIER THAN THIS!

CLEANING THE DISGUSTING AUGEAN STABLES !!!!!

Well my friends fearing my physical strength and power that fool Eurystheus has sent me to complete menial labour by cleaning out the king Augeas' stables.

However for such a heinous and disgusting task I made a deal with king Augeas , in which he'd give me a tenth of his cattle if I cleaned the stables in one day. I ultimately invited Augeas' son to watch a true hero complete a task , so he may inspire one day to become a warrior like me.

The task itself was quite simple. I tore open two large holes at both ends of the stables , and via digging trenches near two rivers it allowed the water to wash away all the filth and mess within these stables.

HOW DARE THAT FOOL AUGEAS BETRAY ME !!!!!. HE HAS FAILED TO LIVE UP TO HIS END OF THE BARGAIN AND BANISHED ME FROM THE KINGDOM !!!! BUT DON'T YOU WORRY ONCE I ACHIEVE IMMORTALITY THAT FOOL AND ALL THE OTHERS INCLUDING EURYSTHEUS WILL PAY FOR THAT HAVE DONE !!!!!!!

THE BIRDS OF STYMPHALIAN !!!!

I must admit my friends I was getting excited as the challenges were becoming even more and more challenging !!!

The thought of taking on the creatures with ariel superiority drove my instinct to challenge myself and become better as a warrior. Anyway our good old friend Eurystheus ordered me to kill these brirds which lived in the forest on the shores of Lake Stymphalus. HOW DARE THAT FOOL TELL ME WHAT TO DO !!!!

 However I must concentrate on the task at hand , that fool's time will come I assure you. I must admit drawing these birds out of the forest proved quite challenging , until the goddess Athena came to my aid and provided me with a bronze castanet. This proved to be of great use as the birds were clearly fearful of the noise and as they drew out of the forest. I shot each and everyone one of them down with my perfect archery skills.

Once again another task was effectively completed and my triumphs continued. I thank you for your on going support my friends

Hmm.... I wonder who this particularly attractive fellow is and look at his skill with a bow and arrows ??

THE HIND OF CERYNEIA !!!!

Well my friends the next task included capturing some sort of a female deer or hind.... call it what you want?
However I must admit this was quite a delicate task for a key reason. Such a hind was sacred to the goddess Artemis and believe me none of you would want to get in her bad books......... She is an absolute PSYCHO!!!!

Anyway I faced difficulty as I was forbid from neither killing , nor even touching the hind. So I had to be smart and think strategically. Hence forgive me for not blogging for a year as this was the time it took me to hunt the hind. Eventually the hind grew tired and I regrettably wounded it with one of my arrows. Man I knew Artemis was going to be really annoyed at what I did , so I just took it like the warrior I am, all the rage that was coming towards me.

Luckily enough I was able to explain to the animated Artemis that I was forced to complete the task , and it was all Eurystheus fault. She then healed the hind and let me take it back.

A good years work I'd say , but more importantly I was closer to my goal.

I must admit I was quite brutal and harsh , but hey life's not fair. Believe me I know !!!!

THE BLOODY PIG !!!

Well my friends Eurystheus keeps sending me on the most idiotic tasks I've ever had to complete in my life. I was  instructed to bring back the Erymanthian boar alive , a pig can you believe it a PIG !!!!!!!.

My frustration levels were going through the roof , however I must keep a steady mind to the ultimate glory that lies ahead. Anyway whilst I was one my way to complete this ever so difficult task..... (great sarcasm mind you) I decided to pay a visit to my friend Pholus the centaur , however my indulgence for his wine stirred up some trouble with others , so...... I decided to quickly complete my task.

It was quite simple to find the beast and I was able to lure it out to the snow. It ran until it collapsed allowing me to seize the moment and capture the beast without a sweat.... damn i'm good !!!!

However the reaction of Eurystheus was priceless , hahaha. Once he saw me return with the pig he was gripped with terror and hid himself in a large jar. So he should be , no one , I mean no one !!!! dares to challenge me and my power.

Anyway that's enough ranting for today , I'll report back on my next conquest to you later on. Cya then my friends

Someone give me a real challenge !!!!!

THE PATHETIC LERNEAN HYDRA

Well my friends welcome to level two......

Once again my confidence was at an all time high after disposing quite comfortably of that ridiculous lion . Now some sea monster stood between me and my journey to immortality. However due to the relative size of the beast and mainly my selflessness to share my glory with others I requested my nephew the great Iolaus to assist me in my battle.

We would ultimately need to work together in order to defeat this multiple headed best. Once we arrived to Lerna I was able to draw this beast out by shooting my flamed arrows towards it. However I must admit that this creature did trouble us for a second.... but only for no more than one second , as we realized that each time I'd destroy one of its heads, multiples would take its place. However the intellect of my nephew Iolaus proved to be of great value as he was able to torch the tendons in the neck of the beast and ultimately restrict its ability to grow back its head.

It took us then no more than 5 minutes to completely destroy the beast and i benefited greatly from its bloody corpse by equipping my arrows with some much needed poison.

Overall it was a great conquest and I must thank my Iolaus for his loyalty. I'll recommend him to anyway one you mortals as his services will be of great assistance should you take a similar adventure of your own. Anyway another simple task completed and I'm one step closer to proving that fool Eurystheus he messed with the wrong hero.                                                                                                                                                        

Me and Iolaus in High Definiton action !!!!... oh yeaaaa

FASHION STATEMENT !!!

 What do you all think of my new suit ???

I reckon it's going to be a trendy development in the future. The ladies will be lining up my friends if you know what I mean....

I RULE OVER THE NEMEAN LION !!!

Well that arrogant fool Eursytheus ordered me to bring back the skin of a supposed lion which was terrorizing the hills around Nemea. On my way to Nemea I came across a very nice man Molorchus who provided me with hospitality. However despite Molorchus's hospitality and warmth I could sense the sadness inside him as his son had been killed by the beast terrorizing Nemea. Ultimately I made a deal with Molorchus that If I did return in 30 days he'd sacrifice his ram , his only possession to Zeus , however If I didn't make it back from my conquest the ram would be sacrificed to me as a hero.

Anyway enough of this background , now the exciting part begins. Well I arrived at the lion's cave with my confidence shining through. This shouldn't take me more than 5 minutes , however the task proved slightly difficult than first thought. My arrows failed to have any impact upon the lion at first , due to my poor judgement. So I had no choice but to physically attack it and though my brute strength I chocked it to death. Damn i'm good......

Man you should have seen the face of Eursytheus.... He was instilled with fear. How dare that fool even question any of my abilities.

Here is my battle with the Nemean Lion for those who like visual action:

TODAY'S THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT !!!!

Well today's the day.....

My day of judgement , the atonement of my sins nears. Just a few hours ago I met with the one they call Eurystheus of Argos. I didn't seem to have much fondness of him , but that's not important. I have been allocated twelve tasks or laborers to complete in exchange for immortality which I must say sounds very enticing, ha ha ha. Well I'll report back soon after I have completed my first task. As skilled as I am these tasks should be a breeze , I mean come on.... I killed a snake as a baby , which says a lot one would agree.

Anyway cheerio until then my friends

WHAT HAVE I DONE !!

Hera the fool !!!

She has destroyed me. Hera's actions have delivered me into this delirium and rage and it is through that I've murdered my entire family. My beautiful wife Megara , my children all gone because of my uncontrollable rage...


I didn't know what to do with my life , it's as if it was at the crossroads. I had lost all purpose to remain alive. However my praise must be given to my great friend Theseus who broke me out of my depressive state. He gave me  hope...... hope towards salvation.

In a weeks time I must meet my fate , the challenges and ultimate punishment I must face for my unforgivable sins. I've been instructed to travel to Delphi where I'll meet the one named Eurystheus of Argo. It is here that It's been rumoured I must face the most grueling and intimidating of challenges. Well until then my friends.....